Scam Number:
806 544-0906
8065440906
Old school hold music.
On with Rundi
8065440906 Jennifer Brown
She said her name was Bella Morris so I said my name was Bella Morris. She was not amused.
They ask how I am doing. Well, the alarm did not go off this morning. Then I stepped in cat vomit. Not even warm cat vomit. It was cold and slimy and chunky. The coffee machine broke and so no coffee so my husband was pissed and socked me in the nose. I had to go to the ER and on the way home I got a flat tire. Then after changing that myself, I got home and fell up the porch stairs. Once I got in the house, he socked me in the nose again……….they really don’t want to know. I don’t know why they even ask.
Picking up
I followed your lead when the Rundi asked how I was doing.
I woke up this morning to the soothing sound of… my neighbor’s leaf blower, inside my dream, which transitioned perfectly into my alarm clock not going off at all because apparently, it died in the night like a Victorian orphan. I jumped out of bed, realized I was already late, and in my panic, put my shirt on backwards and my socks inside out. Fine, I thought, fashion is subjective.
Then I went to make coffee—except the machine decided to reenact Mount Vesuvius. Grounds and coffee everywhere. The kitchen looked like a caffeine crime scene. I wiped my face, only to realize I had just smeared coffee sludge across my forehead like some sort of tribal marking of defeat.
Next, I tried to brush my teeth but discovered I’d somehow grabbed arthritis cream instead of toothpaste. Let’s just say my gums are extremely relaxed now and probably won’t swell for weeks.
Rushing out the door, I stepped right into a puddle the size of Lake Michigan, which somehow only attacked my left shoe. Half-wet socks: the cruelest fate known to man. I sprinted to the car but of course, the universe wasn’t finished. A bird, clearly with precision military training, chose that exact second to unload directly on my head. Not a side splash. Not the shoulder. No. Right. On. Top.
Finally, I got in the car, turned the key… and nothing. Dead battery. At that point, I just accepted that fate had spoken: today was not a “leave the house” kind of day.
So now I’m sitting here, mismatched clothes, half-caffeinated, smelling like arthritis cream and bird revenge, how are you?
That was funny, even if you did steal my schtick.
I totally took your idea 
In my defense, it was just too good of an idea not to steal.
Eric brown +18065440906