Typical talk/chat with tech support scammers

Share how your scambaiting calls typically goes like in this thread. This thread will also help new scambaiters to know how calling a tech support scammer usually goes like.

Here's mine:
Scammer: Thank you for calling support, my name is [some common American name], how can we help you today?
Me: Hi, I got an error message popup that says my computer has been infected with spyware and my personal information is being stolen by hackers, and tells me to call your tech support number. Can you help me with this please?
Scammer: And is this a laptop or a dextop? Also, are you the owner of this computer, and are you the only user or does anyone else use this computer?
Me: It's a desktop. I am the owner and the main user, so I typically use this computer, however my family sometimes uses it.
Scammer: Ok. In order for us to help you, we will need to connect to your computer to our secure support server. Now, i want you to look on your keyboard. Do you see the Ctrl key?
Me: Yes.
Scammer: On the right, there should be a Windows key, which has 4 flags. Do you see it?
Me: Yes.
Scammer: Press and hold the Windows key. While holding the Windows key, press the R key, then release. What do you see now?
Me: A window that says "Run"
Scammer: In the text box, type in I as in Indiana, E as in Edward, X as in X-Ray, P as in Phone, L as in Lollipop, O as in Oreo, R as in Rodger, E as in Edward, etc.
Me: So "Iexplore" space helpme.net?
Scammer: Yes, and click on OK.
[yada yada yada (Establishing remote access)]

[Then scammer opens CMD]
Scammer: I am going to run a security scan on your computer. This may take a few minutes, stay on the line please.
[Uses tree or dir command]
Scammer: Ok, you can see here, Windows has detected viruses, spyware, and hackers on your computer.
Me: Oh no. Can you help fix that?
Scammer: Sure, we can help you fix it. But first, let me check for hackers.
[Opens netstat command]
Scammer: You can see this is your IP address. It is unique to your computer, just like your social security number. And you can see down here, these are foreign IP addresses that are from hackers getting into your computer.
Me: Oh no.
[Scammer then opens notepad and types in prices and his obviously fake personal information]
Scammer: In order to fix problems, you will need to buy security. It is $99 for one year, $199 for 2 years, and $299 for lifetime. Additionally, we will need to charge a service fee for support. One time fix is $99 with 30 day warranty, $199 for one year unlimited support, or $299 for 3 year unlimited support.
Me: I am planning to get a new computer soon. Can buying security and support be transferred to my new computer if I sell this one?
Scammer: Yes, you can transfer security onto another Windows computer. And support can be on any computer you own, as long as it is your's.
Me: I will go with lifetime security and one year support.
Scammer: That will be $498 plus 8% tax, which will be $538.
Me: Ok, how do I pay?
Scammer: you can provide me with your credit or debit card. You can enter your numbers here.
[Scammer types in a template on notepad for me to enter credit card information. Then I just give the scammer a Visa Gift Card that doesn't have any credits left on it, so it will automatically be declined]
Scammer: Thank you, please wait while we process your credit card.
Me: And just to ask you, why are you scamming people? Do you seriously think this is ethical for you to be scamming innocent people who have a computer with nothing wrong with it? This is a virtual machine, and there is nothing wrong with it other that you, scammer, that is connected to it.
Scammer: Sir, we are not a scam. This is official Microsoft technical support.
Me: No, you're lying. Microsoft would never charge you anything if there is nothing wrong with your computer. And I know this popup is fake.
Scammer: F*** your mother, b***h.
Me: No, you should, madarchod!
[Hangs up. Then tries to syskey my computer]

This worked out well!