Scam Number:
301 971-0289
I won $17 million and a brand new 2026 Ford truck!
BREAKING: I’d like to formally announce my retirement effective immediately.
A very convincing gentleman with a strong Jamaican accent just informed me I’ve won $17 million and a brand new Ford truck, which honestly feels like a weird prize combo but I’m not here to question destiny.
So yeah… I’ll be unavailable going forward. I’m currently liquidating all assets, canceling responsibilities, quitting my job and preparing to relocate to a remote island nation that doesn’t appear on most maps (mostly because I spelled it wrong when I googled it).
Please respect my privacy during this transition as I reinvent myself under a mysterious new identity—something classy like Reginald Boatman III.
If you need me, don’t. I’ll be busy wiring “a small processing fee” and picking out curtains for my houseboat.
Stay jealous, peasants.