315-351-0277 – When I called Officer Kevin Jones he was really mean and rude to me. He was making fun of my voice. I said why are you making fun of my voice? He said because it is so sweet and sexy. (Golly is that all these freaks think of?). He also asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no how could I in my condition? That went over his head. Well, I made him feel like a real crud. He spent 5 minutes trying to spell my name. Then he told me about the arrest warrant. I said OH DEAR WHAT AM I TO DO! I am in a wheelchair. He said WAT? I said I have been in a wheelchair for 9 years since I was 20. He changed his tune and asked me what happened. I spun a tale of woe that went like this AND HE BOUGHT IT! "Well, when I was 20 Momma had been drinkin cause she knew Daddy was gettin out of prison on parole and she was not happy about that and so we had to pick him up at the station and I told her I would drive and she insisted and what could I do I was only 20 and she was my Momma so I let her against my inclination and it was rainin besides but before we got to the station a big old dog was in front of the pickup, one of those Greyhound Dogs, ya know, they are really big and we clipped its tail and it kept on goin but Momma didnt have her seatbelt on and she went thru the windshield wham and her head popped open like a cantaloupe when you drop it on the dirt and I had my seatbelt on but I went back and then forwards and then back and I broke the L4 L5 bone in my lower back and after that I couldnt walk no more but they tried to save poor Momma but she was in a coma and Daddy and I had to pull the plug on her cause she was a vegatable like a big old broccolli plant not knowing neither here nor there or which or what and it was the hardest decision we ever made and I been in this chair for 9 years and Daddy files my disability every year so I dont know what this is all about!!! Yes, I said it all in one breath because i have it written down. He was all OH NO! That is awful. I will fix each and everything for you. Don’t worry. I said, Well ain’t you sweet bless your heart. He said he wanted to come to my house and play with me. HOW SICK IS THAT? So I made him feel worse by saying How can you do that? Washington is gonna have a big old blizzard. Ya know, we are gonna have tornadas here and I hate tornadas cause we live in a mobeel home and I am all alone till Daddy gets home and I could end up in Kansas like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and what is your badge number so I can write a nice letter to the IRS with your name and say Officer Kevin Jones was so kindly to me and made my problem go away and he should get a big fat raise. He said NO NO NO you don’t have to do that. I said but I am gonna what else do I have to do? Now you have a lovely weekend in all that snow and maybe you can call me Monday and see if I am still here and not blown all the way to Oz with the wicked witch of the west. And I hung up. WHEW I AM OUT OF BREATH! And I did just get a tornado warning on my weather radio. Anyway, feel free to call this number and if you accept this mission, say you are Ray Monaldo and what is Officer Kevin Jones doing calling your daughter Rosetta who is in a wheelchair and saying nasty things to her.
Oh. My. You come up with some of the best stuff Justice. Seriously, to quote Kenny Bania from “Seinfeld”, “this is gold Jerry, GOLD!” 
@6flagsray#27556 Thank you, kind sir, I shoulda been on the stage. But I probably woulda fallen off on my head. Maybe that is it. My Momma dropped me on mine when I was a baby!!! Wish I could give you 100 upvotes, though!