Scam Number: N/A but can be provided
Scammer’s Website or Email: N/A but can be provided
Additional information about this scam:
(Important: I will NOT be providing this individual’s name at this time but it can as well as other evidence or information be provided so long as approved via staff. I do not want to unintentionally break any rules or cause any harm. This post is primarily for discussion, advice, and guidance only.)
Hi everyone,
I’m posting here because I have been the victim of what I strongly believe to be a calculated scam, though it falls into a romance/emotional manipulation category rather than the typical financial scam. I have gone through the police, who ultimately dropped the case, stating that fraud could not be proven unless I could demonstrate the individual’s explicit intent to scam me. Essentially, they would have needed to admit they set out to deceive me, which is obviously unrealistic.
I am currently pursuing this through civil legal action, but I want to discuss my experience here in absolute detail to get advice from others, see if anyone has faced similar situations and explore my options.
The Situation
I met this individual (whom I will call X) last year, and over the course of several months, he presented himself as a wealthy, successful, well-connected actor/model from an elite family background. He spoke about his trust fund, expensive items, and family wealth, which gave me the impression that money was not an issue for him.
However, as time went on, I found myself covering countless expenses for him under the belief that he would repay me. These expenses included:
Hotels, nights out, food, drinks
Personal items and gifts (unclaimable obviously)
Financial support for emergencies he claimed to have
Other indirect financial contributions such as he claimed he would cover my expenses for parking and visiting him
At one point, he promised to square up everything with a £10,000 Rolex, but this never materialised. Every time I brought it up or repaying there were excuses about his bank, his trust fund, or family drama preventing him from paying me back. Over time including, the £10k made additional losses of approximately 4k due to legitimate private investigators (trying to validate his background) as well as falling foul to telegram scammers to the approximate sum of 3.2k this individual deception.
Reporting to the Police & Their Response
I took this to the police, hoping to pursue it as fraud. I provided them with a detailed timeline, financial records and select messages proving his false promises, coercion, manipulation but their stance was that intent to defraud could not be proven because:
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He rarely directly asked me for money (instead, he allowed me to pay for items indirectly that he needed, like hotels, meals, etc knowing I expected repayment). All of this allowed him to spend what money he did have on partying, drugs & meant he didn’t need a job.
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He never explicitly admitted that he was lying about repaying me. Or rather kept stalling ultimately blocking me on everything. He also maintained his wealthy background. However he did confess he was younger than I’d thought and his name was actually a stage name (this was latterly when the relationship was done and I was meeting him primarily for repayment and for him to explain things)
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Intent - He didn’t explicitly say he intended to scam me.
They essentially told me that unless he outright confessed that his intent was to deceive me, there was nothing they could do criminally.
Why I Believe He Is a Scammer
Pattern of deception: He systematically lied about his wealth and background to gain financial and emotional support. His lies were clearly convincing and rehearsed, he had pictures and was always able to reassure me when I became suspicious such as taking me to a Rolex store and letting me pick one out for him to repay me with (stating his parents would pay & he was going to get a few at same time). He told daily lies regarding his families movements, fabricating crisis’, activities and such.
Manipulation tactics: Used love-bombing, guilt, and emotional coercion to keep me engaged. He detailed stories of being raped, molested, tough upbringing with unfortunately made me feel a lot of sympathy toward him and made me more invested as well as protective. I had my own problems without going into detail…
Inconsistencies in his story: Claimed family connections and extreme wealth, yet needed financial help. He stated he was Jewish, had trust fund yet he wasn’t getting access till 21. His parents would give him limited financial help due to his past (troubles with alcohol and addiction which again I was sympathetic for). It was eventually a review and private investigation into his familial background which uncovered the lies - family members were not the jobs/roles he’d billed them as.
No consequences: Despite everything, he continues his life as if nothing happened. Not only has this caused me severe mental issues but this person has not seen any consequence for their action. They cut ties and seemingly are untouchable. I feel really let down by the authorities and I am struggling to move on. Knowing that he faces no accountability, others could be scammed by him and such.
Emotional & Psychological Impact
This situation has had a devastating impact on my mental health. I attempted suicide - hospitalised and thankfully okay as a result of the emotional and financial abuse I endured. Even after realizing what he did, I have struggled with guilt, humiliation, and frustration over how easily he got away with it. I’ve had lots of arguments with family in particular who obviously care but want me to just forget about it. Unfortunately it’s really not that simple. I lost someone I thought I loved, financial impact, unfairness and my education - I had to take a break. I’m very much struggling and the source of it is the worry and lack of closure with all this. I’m not a psychologist but why is that so hard for people to comprehend? I can’t just move on like nothings happened. It’s bad enough going through previous relationships and cheating (which also has happened but that’s a separate issue and not relevant) and such.
Why Im Posting Here
I know this is different from the usual scams discussed on this forum, but I truly believe this individual is a scammer and will likely do this to others. I want to:
Discuss this openly and provide as much detail as possible.
Seek any advice from others who have dealt with complex scams that aren’t traditional fraud cases.
Explore legal, investigative, or exposure options to prevent him from doing this again.
Understand what I can or cannot publicly share, as this person has multiple public profiles and is a studying actor. I would rather wait for approval before disclosing personal details.
I feel completely failed by the police and at a loss for what to do next. Any guidance, suggestions, or insights would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading, apologies for length, I can answer any and all questions. I have a lot of evidence obviously but that’s not going to get me anywhere on here either. I’d also like to apologise if I’ve broken any rules I’m brand new and I did read as much as possible but I’m still confused. Let me know if anything needs changed or elaborated on.