619-373-8415 – I was on the phone with these guys from 1645 to 1850 CT. My ear is tired.
My name was Delia Castillano and did that cause a problem! Then we went through the whole address thing in Grand Prarie, TX. Of course, as per usual, the last four digits of my SSN were not enough because there 14 people with the same name, SSN and birthdate. I had to repeat my SSN four times. And spell it once.
Officer Jonathan Edwards (he was actually a famous evangelist and is dead) did the same old script and I did not interrupt him so as to keep him on the phone and let him think I was for real. When he said "thousands and thousands" of dollars, I said, "Gee, I sure wish we had that. We live in a mobile home." He replied, "You have no home?" DUH!
All the while, I talked to my son, Bobby, about his totem pole and why he should not eat potato chips before dinner and then I ate potato chips in Officer Edwards' ear. Bobby started screaming, "The cat fell in the bathtub!" so we had to go rescue her. So, blah blah blah and blah, blah blah until I said I would cooperate. Then he put me on hold for 10 minutes on and off, because I kept complaining about waiting. I whined a lot. He asked how much money I had and I said $600 dollars but I could only get $200 of it. You have heard that on my recordings. He finally transferred me to Officer Robert NoName from the DEA.
He did the whole script again and I let him. I usually say that I already heard it but I just let him read his script and I told him the same thing about the money. He was salivating for the $200 bucks. He told me to go to the Dollar General and I said that it was in a bad part of town and I don't shop there. Then he said to go to 7-11 and I said I don't even know where that is. So we decided on Valmart. It is six miles from the address I gave him. I finally told him I did not have a car and that the busses were not running. I don't have a license due to my DWI and hitting the bus full of nuns. All of our money went to keeping me out of jail. He told me to walk to Valmart with a baby and a six year old. RIght. Then we went through how he would call me tomorrow. I listed my whole schedule and he was fumbling around so I said, "Oh, my husband is home and he can drive me." I made him sit and listen while my husband and I talked about which store and how far and why and how and when.
I told him that my Babe could take me. He said he would stay on the line. I said I had to change my clothes and dress the baby and he told me he would stay. He did. I spent 20 minutes doing stuff around the house and I peed and flushed and finally said we were ready to go. We went outside and someone was mowing so we were screaming at each other, which was fun. I forgot my purse and had to go back inside then I forgot the baby's bottle and went back inside. Finally, we got in the car and drove to Valmart. (We really drove to the Post Office). I disconnected and he called me back twice. I did not answer. When we were almost home, I called him and said that my cell phone dropped out and I would call him back when we got home. He was almost panting with joy. He asked if I had the Google Play cards. I said yes and hung up. When we got home, I called him back and he wanted the numbers. I said, "Well, I have to get the baby in the house so you will have to wait." Okay, okay, okay.
When we got in the house, I read him the fake numbers that I keep on hand. I read them fast. He wanted me to say x for x-ray, etc. So I did. I said P for pervert and C for coward and P for pedophile and he never said a word. He had me repeat them all over. Meanwhile, I was drinking a White Russian. Oops, just a little tipsy! I told him I was drunk and he did not blink. He just wanted those numbers. He disappeared for a while and my husband and I talked about the cocaine and weed we were going to do tonight. He came back on and said that I misread the numbers. WEALLY? So I did it all over again. I said, "I am partly smashed. And we are doing a line of cocaine and smoking weed and so is Bobby, the weed only, of course, him being six and all. He caught that! He said, "Vat?" I repeated myself. I asked him if they could give me the confiscated cocaine because I sure could use it. He didn't say a thing except that I must have mixed up the numbers so we went through it all again. He put me on hold. I said, "Can I call you back tomorrow?" NO, NO, NO! He wanted those numbers too badly. I would babble about unrelated things right in the middle and then say, "Oh I lost my place! Where was I?" and then have to start over. I asked him why he was working at 1830 ET and he said he had to work overtime and he had a lot of cases. Then I had to start over again, again.
I finally started laughing at him and told him, 'Haha, scammed you!" He was really mad, as you can imagine. My husband called him a few choice names and I hung up.
Wow, that was a long call and would it not figure that I could not record it. Phooey. It was really tiring but hey, you can call them tomorrow and lead them on yourself. They obviously are not too bright to fall for it. I always have my info prepared so that they can even Google the street map and look at the street I am on. The actual house number I use is a bush. : )
